Do you know the best way to combat imposter syndrome? Being unapologetically yourself. I know this might seem small to some of you, but I used to rock glitter all the time, but since moving to Texas, I’ve kept it neatly put away with my cosmetics.
I’m always the one to encourage people to be themselves, but I felt maybe the glitter might make people judge me as immature or something. It’s been a while since I’ve been new somewhere. I think I reverted back to when I was a kid moving around and adapting to blend in with the people around me.
Perhaps getting a signing scheduled sparked that age-old imposter syndrome. If you don’t know what that is, it means you’re successful and people like you, but you feel like you don’t actually deserve it. You feel like a fake; like your success is a fluke and maybe those people talk about you behind your back.
So here I am, getting ready to sell and sign my books this Saturday and I’m getting all those thoughts. “You haven’t written anything in three years. Can you still call yourself an author?” “No one wants to read an independently published author, especially you.” “Your stories aren’t that great. People are just being nice when they say they are.”
And I look in my cosmetics box and my eyes zip to the glitter. It would be easy to put it on if I had nowhere to go, but I am going out this evening to church. I waffled, then, with quivering hands, applied the glitter primer and glitter… And immediately felt awesome.
Am I still having doubts? Of course! I’m only human after all. But I do feel better… And sparkly.
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